Increasingly, cruising seems to have become a lost language, diminished not only by dating apps, but by gentrification (fewer places to hook up) and reactions to the AIDS crisis in the 1980s and ‘90s, which condemned sex and sex spaces in the name of public health. Before the Internet and dating apps, cruising was used as a mode of communication by our queer ancestors to suss each other out, since they had to pass as straight, to look and act normal to stay safe in lieu of LGBTQ acceptance and protections. It relies on body language, eye contact, intuition, and knowing how to utilize public space. It’s called cruising, and it’s a dialect that has been perfected in places like restrooms, city parks, and gym locker rooms. It was frustrating, because I knew that there was a language out there that gay men have used for centuries to communicate in these very situations. And even if I did talk to him, what was I supposed to say? The customary, “ Sup?” that many use online wouldn’t suffice, I’m sure. I worried that it was all in my head, and that he was straight and maybe even homophobic.
Incidents of homophobic violence at known cruising spots do still occur in the UK, but changes to the. I wanted to talk to this guy, but I wasn’t confident he was interested in me and wondered whether it was just a coincidence, him following me and working out closeby. But still, undeterred, gay men went cruising for sex.
